Monday, July 23, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Some People Not Happy
Just because others want to revel in something does not mean others have to. I'm not really sure exactly what's going on?
Relief
Some people act like I'm impossible. Like, others's experiences and treatments reach the ends of the earth. It looms ahead of me. It taunts me, not that it is but does it.
So, I can hope it's not true.
To me, there are an endless array of possibilities. You just have to play with specific things and see them.
Sculpting to the Modern World
I guess some people think they have to do certain things to keep a certain rapport.
Some people come up with strange things.
I guess they think something has to come up that they can't fix. :(
Getting Happy
Just because someone says something to make me feel better and I find it funny does not mean I have to do what someone else did. I didn't go with it, though. It's just funny, not sure what's going on. It was just a reaction. I wasn't sure what to think. Supposedly, I was at wit's end on the other side.
Jazz
I see they start jazz at age 7.
When I was 6, for the ballet recital, we did something more like jazz, no ballet, though, because supposedly we couldn't do it. However, I see dance, around 2006, and they do things when they don't do much. I was at a strict school when I was younger. I guess I couldn't like spin. Makes sense. Still, like, we wore tight shorts and tanks. Some of us had our bellies show.
When I was 6, for the ballet recital, we did something more like jazz, no ballet, though, because supposedly we couldn't do it. However, I see dance, around 2006, and they do things when they don't do much. I was at a strict school when I was younger. I guess I couldn't like spin. Makes sense. Still, like, we wore tight shorts and tanks. Some of us had our bellies show.
Some Pliés
I just did some pliés. I didn't feel like I'd fall over. It did strain me, which it shouldn't much, like before. I did feel more balletic this time. I also wondered why I did it. It's more exciting posting online. I'm not sure what kind of a workout level 2 ballet is. I'm pretty sure I should do level 2 and not 3 because 3 is pointe.
Ballet
I don't know about my hunger cravings, but I'd like to start ballet at the beginning of a year, which will be registration in maybe the middle of August. I kinda wanted to wait until I was thinner. I can still go to the gym those days, though. I should just go and try. I'll get on a bus, some days, at about 2:00 P.M. and work out until about 11:00 P.M. For sleep, that leaves 12 hours, no long hours blogging those days.
I was thinking it would be exciting to be a movie actor, but it just seems like work.
Working at Disney World might be fun. I know I like going there.
I guess I'm just getting older. Too bad about transportation.
I get the feeling at ballet they aren't really as serious as I am, especially being from Orlando. They can be smug and creep up on you and get personal, when you just want to enjoy the ballet and learn.
I do feel I'm too late, and it upsets me. Like, what if I don't enjoy it. Maybe, I won't go?
I probably just won't go to the gym those days. So, I'd get 3 days at the gym, though. Otherwise, I could get 4, ideally. That is enough, though.
I was thinking it would be exciting to be a movie actor, but it just seems like work.
Working at Disney World might be fun. I know I like going there.
I guess I'm just getting older. Too bad about transportation.
I get the feeling at ballet they aren't really as serious as I am, especially being from Orlando. They can be smug and creep up on you and get personal, when you just want to enjoy the ballet and learn.
I do feel I'm too late, and it upsets me. Like, what if I don't enjoy it. Maybe, I won't go?
I probably just won't go to the gym those days. So, I'd get 3 days at the gym, though. Otherwise, I could get 4, ideally. That is enough, though.
Watcha gonna do to me, now?
It seems things were done to me to satisfy others, like just because I exist!
They believe that, in certain situations, it would have been easy to do something else. I actually have times a lot when I'm not all there in some way. I always tried to do the right thing, though?
They believe that, in certain situations, it would have been easy to do something else. I actually have times a lot when I'm not all there in some way. I always tried to do the right thing, though?
Doesn't it matter?
Someone does something either because they are mad or they don't know. I don't believe, then, it is right to do things without letting someone know that is not nice or is to punish them.
What's Going Around
Some people want things more forward. They don't tell you, though. They let you know.
Upset and Didn't Know What to Do
I was suggesting because things were coming up that it seemed I wasn't as encouraged to enjoy my life and be in ballet or gymnastics because my brother was born and when I was little had a better life. My mom would go to places maybe like the grocery store and when I was 2 to the mall. We had Chick-fil-A and piña coladas without alcohol. I remember going to an Asian store, too, and looking at the baby corn. Not only was I in gymnastics, but I tried to look cute, like getting in the newsstand and doing headstands against the couch. I spun around and did somersaults and backwardsaults. I wanted to be thin, basically, but I'm not sure how I knew that would make me thin. I ate pretty healthily. I was introduced to things like soda and ice cream, I remember, at least the soda and more dessert, like toppings for different flavors of ice cream, when I was about 6 or 7. I did gymnastics and baton and wasn't fat. I was skinny. My stomach wasn't that bony|curvy, though, and I don't think I'm happy about that. It's still not. My breast is kinda petite. I feel I need rest to get rid of the fat around the middle of my body, but I am resting by not working and going to school and going anywhere and am jogging and going to the gym. I like going to the gym with my dad, but my dad had a busy weekend, anyway. I'm even wondering if I should take a break, but come time I may feel like going. I'd like to sleep and read, too.
What Happened Instead of Ballet
I stayed fit with gymnastics.
I guess, I had ended up doing my own thing before it was time to buckle down and pick up an activity. I gained weight sometime between age 4 and 4 1|2 when my brother was born. I started ballet at 5 and seemed to have a bigger face and head, which I didn't like. Well, I wasn't fat fat, and I didn't look like chubby. It seems like it was worse than being Chinese. I do have Native American.
It was very different in the 80s. There was a lot to do. It was just fun at home.
So, I started to learn to type when I was, probably, 5 or 6. Maybe 7.
Like, in the 80s, even 90s, there was this certain feeling of like all these ideas and feelings and things surrounding you.
It seems I looked good for my birthdays, at age 3 and 4, but I guess I should have done ballet. It would have been the smart thing to do. I know my parents would let me. At 5, they told me to pick one ... or I could do both, but I guess less. I don't know how much ballet there was, but I went once a week. When we were told to pick a song to dance to individually, everyone knew one but me. Also, the boombox got stolen and we saw muddy footprints. Our house was attempted to be broken into 3 times here, once or twice successfully. At first, it was right after we moved here. The other time was in the past few months.
Another thing was my hair was dark. I think I liked it that way, but it was light when I was even younger. It's too bad people with black hair some have a rough time, but in the end I came out okay and still have dark colored hair. It does have some light tints, now. It has had tints before. I mean, it's not like see-through. I've been lying in the tub. It's like multi-colored. Also, I use Sheer Blonde for the lightest shades and Radiant Red.
It seems I was pretty sensitive to things when I was little, like suggestions that seemed to pair with being half Chinese and part Native American. I guess I didn't feel multi-talented enough, for some reason. For some reason, I feel my life was a project to become European by keeping switching my lifestyle. There are things in my life that were definitely right at the time but later wrong.
I guess, I had ended up doing my own thing before it was time to buckle down and pick up an activity. I gained weight sometime between age 4 and 4 1|2 when my brother was born. I started ballet at 5 and seemed to have a bigger face and head, which I didn't like. Well, I wasn't fat fat, and I didn't look like chubby. It seems like it was worse than being Chinese. I do have Native American.
It was very different in the 80s. There was a lot to do. It was just fun at home.
So, I started to learn to type when I was, probably, 5 or 6. Maybe 7.
Like, in the 80s, even 90s, there was this certain feeling of like all these ideas and feelings and things surrounding you.
It seems I looked good for my birthdays, at age 3 and 4, but I guess I should have done ballet. It would have been the smart thing to do. I know my parents would let me. At 5, they told me to pick one ... or I could do both, but I guess less. I don't know how much ballet there was, but I went once a week. When we were told to pick a song to dance to individually, everyone knew one but me. Also, the boombox got stolen and we saw muddy footprints. Our house was attempted to be broken into 3 times here, once or twice successfully. At first, it was right after we moved here. The other time was in the past few months.
Another thing was my hair was dark. I think I liked it that way, but it was light when I was even younger. It's too bad people with black hair some have a rough time, but in the end I came out okay and still have dark colored hair. It does have some light tints, now. It has had tints before. I mean, it's not like see-through. I've been lying in the tub. It's like multi-colored. Also, I use Sheer Blonde for the lightest shades and Radiant Red.
It seems I was pretty sensitive to things when I was little, like suggestions that seemed to pair with being half Chinese and part Native American. I guess I didn't feel multi-talented enough, for some reason. For some reason, I feel my life was a project to become European by keeping switching my lifestyle. There are things in my life that were definitely right at the time but later wrong.
Ballet
I guess what I should want, should have wanted and did, is to take ballet, first, which I think I said no to because just gymnastics was going well and I eventually got very skinny in a way, and to want to be more advanced younger, which I would hope schools do, rather than act like suddenly it's a lot harder at 7, when maybe most people, well some people, start.
It's interesting how I've been losing my double chin because
I haven't been eating as healthy as I could, but I just had a pizza phase for 2 days. I wasn't a health nut last night, but it wasn't pizza.
I think it's the gym that helped me. I got excited at the music last time.
Click on "Classes" and "Enrollment Division:" http://orlandoballetschool.org
I guess it's important to start ballet before you're 5. It might robotize you, but I'd do it. I started at 5, and I couldn't focus. I did gymnastics, but we didn't do dance forms that early. I actually stayed in it until I turned 9. I started gymnastics at 1 3|4. I was attune to the physicality I was introduced to in ballet, but I couldn't do it. I did better after quitting gymnastics and starting piano for awhile, when there was no ballet where we moved. I even quit gymnastics just to have an open schedule. Too bad I was too worried about being half Chinese to wonder about carpooling.
When we moved when I was 7, the ballet school wasn't like serious. It was more artsy but not like in the same way as multi-dimensional. I guess it was because at first I was fortunate to find a French teacher. She moved to Georgia and taught college, when we moved, too. So, I asked my mom to take me out and find a new place. I don't know that she found one but asked if I wanted to just take more gymnastics. I was also in baton, so I had a lot of long marching in the hot sun, in mid-Southeastern Florida, along the coast. So, I said yes to more gymnastics but never had the guts to be on a team. It seemed plausible. I just knew that then I would be less multi-talented, though that thought never came to surface. So, we moved again, from where I lived at 9-turning 12. I took ballet, by choice, at the first place we went to, a modern dance studio, but I was upset when I found it was only once a week. They recommended I wait and start later, since it was the middle of the year and they just started the recital. They let me in and I was in the recital. After 2 1|2 years, ... oh yea, it was gentle ... I moved to a private ballet studio. I was with some enthusiastic girls 3-4 years younger. I was there from age 15-17. When I was 16, I tried just doing the adult class, and at 17 I took Thursday off to do gymnastics and Saturday off to go to arts school for classical music as a pianist. After that, I would have switched to the big dance school. Someone from there told me at 16 that where I went was better and that she couldn't dance, though she went there 6 days a week. When I went there, they said you could go anywhere from 1-6 days a week and that The Nutcracker is about if the costume fits. So, I came back, and it seemed like a serious place, just for ages up to 18|high school. So, I went to summer camp at my old school. I was too old for theater, then, too, in the summer, when the kids put on a musical. During the year, they didn't always do much, if anything. I went to the activities my first year of high school.
Looking back, the ballet school I went to seemed like it gave you a lot of chance, but I'll admit it's not quite as hard|strict.
So, yes, ballet is a workout that made me sweat all over, particularly at the class I went to for teens. It was probably hard when I began the kids's class. I also tried jazz, lyrical, tap, and modern. The new school I want to go to doesn't have as much of extra classes but has them, probably not tap and lyrical. So, I lost a lot of weight that year but took off to catch up on rest and see if I could get taller. It's been 5 years, and I did.
I think it's the gym that helped me. I got excited at the music last time.
Click on "Classes" and "Enrollment Division:" http://orlandoballetschool.org
I guess it's important to start ballet before you're 5. It might robotize you, but I'd do it. I started at 5, and I couldn't focus. I did gymnastics, but we didn't do dance forms that early. I actually stayed in it until I turned 9. I started gymnastics at 1 3|4. I was attune to the physicality I was introduced to in ballet, but I couldn't do it. I did better after quitting gymnastics and starting piano for awhile, when there was no ballet where we moved. I even quit gymnastics just to have an open schedule. Too bad I was too worried about being half Chinese to wonder about carpooling.
When we moved when I was 7, the ballet school wasn't like serious. It was more artsy but not like in the same way as multi-dimensional. I guess it was because at first I was fortunate to find a French teacher. She moved to Georgia and taught college, when we moved, too. So, I asked my mom to take me out and find a new place. I don't know that she found one but asked if I wanted to just take more gymnastics. I was also in baton, so I had a lot of long marching in the hot sun, in mid-Southeastern Florida, along the coast. So, I said yes to more gymnastics but never had the guts to be on a team. It seemed plausible. I just knew that then I would be less multi-talented, though that thought never came to surface. So, we moved again, from where I lived at 9-turning 12. I took ballet, by choice, at the first place we went to, a modern dance studio, but I was upset when I found it was only once a week. They recommended I wait and start later, since it was the middle of the year and they just started the recital. They let me in and I was in the recital. After 2 1|2 years, ... oh yea, it was gentle ... I moved to a private ballet studio. I was with some enthusiastic girls 3-4 years younger. I was there from age 15-17. When I was 16, I tried just doing the adult class, and at 17 I took Thursday off to do gymnastics and Saturday off to go to arts school for classical music as a pianist. After that, I would have switched to the big dance school. Someone from there told me at 16 that where I went was better and that she couldn't dance, though she went there 6 days a week. When I went there, they said you could go anywhere from 1-6 days a week and that The Nutcracker is about if the costume fits. So, I came back, and it seemed like a serious place, just for ages up to 18|high school. So, I went to summer camp at my old school. I was too old for theater, then, too, in the summer, when the kids put on a musical. During the year, they didn't always do much, if anything. I went to the activities my first year of high school.
Looking back, the ballet school I went to seemed like it gave you a lot of chance, but I'll admit it's not quite as hard|strict.
So, yes, ballet is a workout that made me sweat all over, particularly at the class I went to for teens. It was probably hard when I began the kids's class. I also tried jazz, lyrical, tap, and modern. The new school I want to go to doesn't have as much of extra classes but has them, probably not tap and lyrical. So, I lost a lot of weight that year but took off to catch up on rest and see if I could get taller. It's been 5 years, and I did.
Person Who Was Supposed to Come on Friday
She was gonna come at 6:30 P.M. I was sleeping, for some reason, and I guess missed supper, which we usually have around 5:15 P.M. I was a bit affected by the way my dad was acting and, when I saw the lady, my parents were there, and I was professional but perturbed by how I was being treated, just because I was upset! Now, I don't feel so good about my "late binging." I was supposed to call her on Friday - oh, so I guess she was supposed to come Thursday - but I was sleeping again. I woke up, eventually, ate, and went to the gym.
Showing Things Up
Sometimes, people get mad if people hold private lives.
I don't agree with the notion that Hollywood is one big family. It isn't. There are too many obscure people.
Well, one thing I've caught was that you're responsible if someone you like becomes famous and it's for your sake. That's not true. It's the person's responsibility to decide if they want to be in a movie, usually. It might not be so for kids. It's a nice way of looking at things, but it can't be used against you.
The other thing is the idea that you can't do your own thing and that you should consider people who are already famous like family and do something that would appeal to them. I do know people come on because of influence of others and act showing up a famous person's method. I myself have "used" celebrities to enhance myself, but most people forget you can do that, eventually, even if they're aware of it.
I don't agree with the notion that Hollywood is one big family. It isn't. There are too many obscure people.
Well, one thing I've caught was that you're responsible if someone you like becomes famous and it's for your sake. That's not true. It's the person's responsibility to decide if they want to be in a movie, usually. It might not be so for kids. It's a nice way of looking at things, but it can't be used against you.
The other thing is the idea that you can't do your own thing and that you should consider people who are already famous like family and do something that would appeal to them. I do know people come on because of influence of others and act showing up a famous person's method. I myself have "used" celebrities to enhance myself, but most people forget you can do that, eventually, even if they're aware of it.
A mental health pro was supposed to come see me at my house.
However, they were late, and they never came. I missed supper and stuffed myself on breaded cheese. I can still feel a probing ball on my stomach, like kinda empty and expanded. That's similar to bloating when you're busy. When you're busy and don't sleep and don't rest, neither, your stomach will bloat. It might not if you're on fruits and vegetables, but you need like grains, like Triscuits (though it has oil or something) and protein (which includes nuts, seeds, soy, protein drinks which might commonly be soy if healthy naturally, meat...)
In Regards to This Prior Post
http://43christina43.blogspot.com/2012/07/i-do-not-approve-of-punishment.html
I guess, sometimes I'm considered country hick. It's different because, in places like Florida and California, people tend to be on a rapport with obscure cultures.
I guess, sometimes I'm considered country hick. It's different because, in places like Florida and California, people tend to be on a rapport with obscure cultures.
What Would Happen if I Did Not Say the "N" Word
Something hit me when I thought up this topic, and something hit me again when I was trying to think why..
I guess people would continue to feel forced to look up to me and wouldn't enjoy making fun of me because there would be nothing to back it up. I believe, though, that people are stopping doing this and that, eventually, as things get better for me, I won't have this problem, anymore.
I guess people would continue to feel forced to look up to me and wouldn't enjoy making fun of me because there would be nothing to back it up. I believe, though, that people are stopping doing this and that, eventually, as things get better for me, I won't have this problem, anymore.
Weird Punishments
I actually forget even what I was gonna say on this. (I've been keeping notes on topics I want to discuss.)
Oh, if something is weird that you forgot, I wonder why it'd be a big deal, like maybe you'll find the right punishment in 1|2 year, however insignificant a punishment could possibly be to someone. I guess it could be worse. I could be forced to work a part-time job. It might be fun. Wait, I meant a full-time minimum waged job. What's the point in that?
Some people may think that someone with more going should be punished for every little thought, supposedly because of something big you did that wasn't really something wrong by your part.
What's wrong with that is people can't control their thinking because they never have.
It's true, when you see someone with something going for them, it affects you. It may take awhile to settle or last longer than you'd like, but the influence rubs off, I'd say, easily.
Oh, if something is weird that you forgot, I wonder why it'd be a big deal, like maybe you'll find the right punishment in 1|2 year, however insignificant a punishment could possibly be to someone. I guess it could be worse. I could be forced to work a part-time job. It might be fun. Wait, I meant a full-time minimum waged job. What's the point in that?
Some people may think that someone with more going should be punished for every little thought, supposedly because of something big you did that wasn't really something wrong by your part.
What's wrong with that is people can't control their thinking because they never have.
It's true, when you see someone with something going for them, it affects you. It may take awhile to settle or last longer than you'd like, but the influence rubs off, I'd say, easily.
Since Going to the Gym
as well as continuing to be on top of a schedule running ideally 1 1|2 hours a day, I've lost the bulk of my double chin! It was more than a double chin, it hung down. I think it just retracted. :/
I didn't go to the gym on Saturday nor today, Sunday. Saturday, I didn't sleep much. Sunday, I've been sleeping all day.
I didn't go to the gym on Saturday nor today, Sunday. Saturday, I didn't sleep much. Sunday, I've been sleeping all day.
When to Stop Something
You may see a goal you'd like to attain and think it's something you plunge|plow in and do. However, if you really didn't do it, you can't pretend you did it. There are things to consider, like if something is really nice, if it makes sense. There should be a sign that lets you know if it's probably pretty wrong. I know, with me, I do some things without thinking, but most of those things aren't the big things. Also, if I live a certain way, I didn't used to react well if suggestions were made to me that were pretty strong, like not accepting me in a group online because they know I'm not all white.
Getting Used to People Knowing Everything
Oh, so pre-stating my mom would die protects her from really dying?
I also don't at all appreciate people who don't have my best interests at stake thinking I should be made to call someone the "n" word so I can be punished for it, acting like it's okay and was asked for a special reason, to have fun. Doing it so I would be stimulated, like getting back at me for acting cool and aloof. If you want to know more specifically, I was muffled even before I had the chance to live. So, it can't be because of something I did in the womb, that I didn't do much.
I also don't at all appreciate people who don't have my best interests at stake thinking I should be made to call someone the "n" word so I can be punished for it, acting like it's okay and was asked for a special reason, to have fun. Doing it so I would be stimulated, like getting back at me for acting cool and aloof. If you want to know more specifically, I was muffled even before I had the chance to live. So, it can't be because of something I did in the womb, that I didn't do much.
Not Worth Going Back for Clues
I don't know what all I missed.
It's not worth it because I hurt. I have things to do and am trying to relax. I can, but I don't feel like it right now. I thought I already would have done that.
Oh, yea, I'm wondering. It seems like more than one person decided I would get into trouble with the "n" word. That's what I want to know. Just because someone is hurt by someone whose race they find menial for getting attention doesn't mean you can trick them into calling you or someone else the "n" word, you know if you think someone's parents wanted it. These days, parents introduce things early and things you shouldn't do. Also, some people believe curse words are funny, popular words. I'd actually been a member of that crowd but didn't use them growing up nor ever against others. It's because they'd hurt me back. Some people don't get that. I don't know why they don't care.
I noticed when certain ideas come to my mind that something happens to me, as well. I get thoughts this badly because nothing's ever about me, in a way, in reality. It's been this way for awhile.
So, who could have levered me into using the "n" word as a joke? And how?
Also, at the gym, someone on a machine sounded like they said my mom would die. I don't know who it was, for sure. How perverted is that? Why would this stuff come up and actually mean something, as well?
It's not worth it because I hurt. I have things to do and am trying to relax. I can, but I don't feel like it right now. I thought I already would have done that.
Oh, yea, I'm wondering. It seems like more than one person decided I would get into trouble with the "n" word. That's what I want to know. Just because someone is hurt by someone whose race they find menial for getting attention doesn't mean you can trick them into calling you or someone else the "n" word, you know if you think someone's parents wanted it. These days, parents introduce things early and things you shouldn't do. Also, some people believe curse words are funny, popular words. I'd actually been a member of that crowd but didn't use them growing up nor ever against others. It's because they'd hurt me back. Some people don't get that. I don't know why they don't care.
I noticed when certain ideas come to my mind that something happens to me, as well. I get thoughts this badly because nothing's ever about me, in a way, in reality. It's been this way for awhile.
So, who could have levered me into using the "n" word as a joke? And how?
Also, at the gym, someone on a machine sounded like they said my mom would die. I don't know who it was, for sure. How perverted is that? Why would this stuff come up and actually mean something, as well?
Sieving Through and Finding All the Ways Something is an Uncontrollable Accident
sieve
I don't understand how, other than that my parents sent me to the mental hospital as an outlet the second time, someone could premeditate me going there because of not feeling well and throwing things. I mean, too, I was there a month, though the damage was done the first night! (I mean ratting out my conscious for something I was made to believe I did.)
I don't understand how, other than that my parents sent me to the mental hospital as an outlet the second time, someone could premeditate me going there because of not feeling well and throwing things. I mean, too, I was there a month, though the damage was done the first night! (I mean ratting out my conscious for something I was made to believe I did.)
Suggestions on What I Am
Oh, so I've thought of some, as well. However, ... I know I voluntarily brought it up, but I think it was being overly developed as an idea. I don't like the suggestions that I'm nothing because I'm poor and not famous, though talented and well-intended, like I'm a failure to make it into the world as I should have. Like, supposedly I intended to not look well. I had problems a lot, lately. It may take awhile to get over. I've had problems with food. For awhile, I was staying in my room and getting food by myself to eat alone, so it was hard.
Gymnastics
I was behind, though I started at 1 3|4 years old. However, that's what got me through. I started early. I was ahead, though intellectually I was behind.
So, I guess my guilt consumed me.
I think people, first know I'm half Chinese, but then compare ourselves. Like, they'll notice the other differences, I think mainly where we've lived and how skinny we are. Well, some parents feed more fattening food than others. Also, eating more doesn't necessarily make you taller. So, I guess my guilt consumed me.
Oh, and I worked the hardest in gymnastics as a kid and later in other things, like ballet, at least at some points.
Oh, and I worked the hardest in gymnastics as a kid and later in other things, like ballet, at least at some points.
Just in Case
It's still not something I do.
I can just take what comes in different situations, but it's not fun to have things that affect you that aren't your fault in some way ... loom over you. Sure, if someone told you to do something illegal, you would get in trouble. I bet it was my friends being mean to me that caused me to get through to certain problems.
I can just take what comes in different situations, but it's not fun to have things that affect you that aren't your fault in some way ... loom over you. Sure, if someone told you to do something illegal, you would get in trouble. I bet it was my friends being mean to me that caused me to get through to certain problems.
When I Get Mad
I feel people are slowly, through the years, managing to dispense of dirty laundry of things I did that I thought fit the crime. I'm supposedly riding on it. It's too bad. I don't even remember what started it. I think it was something to do with race, one thing, though. If you're interested in someone's well-being, that shouldn't ruin things, but, oh well, everything's ruined for me. I mean, I didn't do anything to deserve it. I don't believe in being treated a step down, just because of what's going on in the world around me. That's not my fault!
What's Really Important
It seems like some things that were important to me were taken away. I was very curious, indeed, about the idea that people are to wait their turn, so-to-speak. I also have been very careful myself in every doing of the same thing. It's hard to know these pre-existing ideas. I'm nothing but happy but curious.
Nice
I thought it was actually nice I chose to be what I was. I have this sorta China|Dutch look but the fundamentals of a handsome English guy. I wonder why people in Europe are better taken care of, even if they're good.
Another reason ... a lot of girls have the mold of a handsome English guy but not the same makeup. So, we're the opposite. I mean, I have an upturned nose. I'm a girl!
It's nice because I have everything in place but one thing different so I won't be a letdown of jealousy by others.
Another reason ... a lot of girls have the mold of a handsome English guy but not the same makeup. So, we're the opposite. I mean, I have an upturned nose. I'm a girl!
It's nice because I have everything in place but one thing different so I won't be a letdown of jealousy by others.
I said some things when I was mad.
I'm worried about that, but I've lost relationships because of it. Don't tell me you don't get mad. I try not to. I figure pretty much everyone is not worth being in a relationship with. I just don't get how they function. Well, I guess it depends.
Racism
Wow, it's amazing how you find a new race to be racist in a different way. Especially if you're that race yourself. Just because someone is different is no cause for alarm.
So
I've seen it in them and know they fix what they do to fit that.
Oh, wait, at least I know it's dangerous, now.
Oh, wait, at least I know it's dangerous, now.
Attention
I believe there are certain things people are frantic don't get to happen to me. This is so uncool because I'm half Chinese (Chinese-Indonesian.)
I don't mind, but it seems to be the cause for danger. I mean people just died in Aurora.
I don't mind, but it seems to be the cause for danger. I mean people just died in Aurora.
Doing What Others Want
Why is it it that when someone wants you to do something, say a bad word to them about them, that when you do it you get in trouble with others in your reputation. I know for a fact people aren't all cool with me, now. Before, I struggled to have this happen, but I don't know where I went wrong. I know people have died, but this was before.
New Suggestions
It's funny when someone very likeable drops the ball on you. Like, they suggest things that otherwise would not have been suggested.
I don't see why someone I watched acted like they wanted me to call them stupid because I did in a way that fit in and didn't surprise them much.
I don't understand the new unrest against me, but I think I know what it was.
I don't see why someone I watched acted like they wanted me to call them stupid because I did in a way that fit in and didn't surprise them much.
I don't understand the new unrest against me, but I think I know what it was.
Something Someone Else Did
Also, why punish me for something someone else did that annoyed you?
Oh no, help! Will this stop? What else do I have lay vulnerable???
It seems like people want to torture me.
I haven't been very bad.
Hey, this could lead to death!
About the title of my topic, I do feel the threat and believe it. It doesn't make sense. I guess it makes sense, in a way. It seems, for some reason, which seems evil, others find it funny.
Oh no, help! Will this stop? What else do I have lay vulnerable???
It seems like people want to torture me.
I haven't been very bad.
Hey, this could lead to death!
About the title of my topic, I do feel the threat and believe it. It doesn't make sense. I guess it makes sense, in a way. It seems, for some reason, which seems evil, others find it funny.
Intentional?
I guess people just want to wipe their conscious clean and go about what they do to most people after people think you've done something wrong. I wonder what would have happened if the "n" word thing never happened. It's almost like I'm not sure, but it's like it was meant to be.
So, if it's intentional, what does that mean?
There are some things I don't understand.
I think my parents feel justified that I was made to call someone the "n" word, at least my mom. I feel ratted.
So, why is it important that the "n" word thing doesn't go out?
Also, I don't believe in punishment to impress.
There are, indeed, some things I don't know.
There are too many clues.
I know some people ... Well, nevermind.
I think some things just went to their head too much. I don't believe I get affected to find faults. It's strange how others take advantages of things.
It feels like my whole life was taken over.
So, if it's intentional, what does that mean?
There are some things I don't understand.
I think my parents feel justified that I was made to call someone the "n" word, at least my mom. I feel ratted.
So, why is it important that the "n" word thing doesn't go out?
Also, I don't believe in punishment to impress.
There are, indeed, some things I don't know.
There are too many clues.
I know some people ... Well, nevermind.
I think some things just went to their head too much. I don't believe I get affected to find faults. It's strange how others take advantages of things.
It feels like my whole life was taken over.
I figured the reason I don't call people niggers because it would really be funny.
I mean, I shouldn't call the person I did that, we know, so far.
The reason I don't talk back, though, nor fight is because the person will just call me something and fight back. I do reiterate my dignity, that I'm white, simply, though even good people can't stand that viewpoint. I don't do that anymore, though.
The other reason is that it doesn't seem like it's usually that fun. I guess it's also a waste. You can use your energy on lots of people you like.
About saving for a special someone, I just assume that everyone is already taken. It's like I live in a safe house.
I feel I wasn't equipped with the tools to function properly but was allowed to do a lot of things because I was good. I was made to get fatter when I was a baby, and I didn't really have a shape, neither, it seemed. Maybe, it's because my mom's Chinese-Indonesian. So, I think the reason is because I got fat as a baby and never fully got skinny. I mean, I started out smaller. I am glad I got a little fat, but I think it was just too much. I don't think I could function knowing I was a fatso. I wonder if my parents knew that being fat and silly would affect me, when that's like the opposite of what I wanted. Also, they do it like kinda tacky. They do leave me to figure things out. They don't praise me. When I got older, like my dad would say I looked good in how I started to dress. I think I dressed better after reading the Little House Books and some of the American Girls. I noticed I dread reading, these days, but I've had times where I was engrossed in it. It seems like Harry Potter made me stop reading, like I'd had it, something cool but a different experience.
The reason I don't talk back, though, nor fight is because the person will just call me something and fight back. I do reiterate my dignity, that I'm white, simply, though even good people can't stand that viewpoint. I don't do that anymore, though.
The other reason is that it doesn't seem like it's usually that fun. I guess it's also a waste. You can use your energy on lots of people you like.
About saving for a special someone, I just assume that everyone is already taken. It's like I live in a safe house.
I feel I wasn't equipped with the tools to function properly but was allowed to do a lot of things because I was good. I was made to get fatter when I was a baby, and I didn't really have a shape, neither, it seemed. Maybe, it's because my mom's Chinese-Indonesian. So, I think the reason is because I got fat as a baby and never fully got skinny. I mean, I started out smaller. I am glad I got a little fat, but I think it was just too much. I don't think I could function knowing I was a fatso. I wonder if my parents knew that being fat and silly would affect me, when that's like the opposite of what I wanted. Also, they do it like kinda tacky. They do leave me to figure things out. They don't praise me. When I got older, like my dad would say I looked good in how I started to dress. I think I dressed better after reading the Little House Books and some of the American Girls. I noticed I dread reading, these days, but I've had times where I was engrossed in it. It seems like Harry Potter made me stop reading, like I'd had it, something cool but a different experience.
Was it my parents?
Who would believe I would get opened up and reinterpreted and rumored, by getting sent to the mental hospital, just because of the "n" word thing, which wasn't my fault?
Things Becoming a Big Deal
There are 2 ways things become a big deal and more attractive.
I think it was 1st the person in the mental hospital relaying the message of the "n" word in a way that made people do the wrong thing to "get it out." That was the real problem.
Another, even bigger? mistake is when it affects big things.
I noticed people are trying to shift the blame on different people.
You think you know if someone had a reason for something. It'll be interesting to find that out. Some people are weird, too, and do things just for the heck of it.
So, people are mad about their big toys being taken away, and that led to the Colorado shooting of The Dark Knight Rises.
End of story. ^^,,^^
I think it was 1st the person in the mental hospital relaying the message of the "n" word in a way that made people do the wrong thing to "get it out." That was the real problem.
Another, even bigger? mistake is when it affects big things.
I noticed people are trying to shift the blame on different people.
You think you know if someone had a reason for something. It'll be interesting to find that out. Some people are weird, too, and do things just for the heck of it.
So, people are mad about their big toys being taken away, and that led to the Colorado shooting of The Dark Knight Rises.
End of story. ^^,,^^
Whoops!
You always have to compare me to someone else to discover you've done something wrong and taken advantage of me over the truth!
I seem to be getting the same message from everyone.
They want to rip me from house and home but admit I deserve some luvin', meaning I hadn't gotten as much before.
The Person Who Did the Back Handspring
They were not very skinny. The dancers seemed dry. This tells me that you shouldn't take dance to do things like that. When I started on MySpace, I saw ads for dancers to get a beep when a dance audition opens up. I guess that's not for strictly ballerinas.
So, if you do ballet, I guess you should want to do a good performance that people seek out, like get a part in The Nutcracker. If I go back to ballet, I want to be fit, first, because that way I may succeed. I'll be able to balance, too. So, instead, I get more of a workout at the gym, rather than stationing in an easy class at my physical fitness level.
I'm concerned about the community college's dance major. It's half modern. I would think it would be a waste of a ballerina's time.
I saw the recital of Orlando Ballet. I may be able to get into the program for more serious older dancers, though I think it's for high schoolers. I think, if I can keep up with a younger class, I'd be allowed in. I honestly know I can make it talent-wise. It's just the memorizing and stretching that I need to improve. I did think during my jog I need to do stretches regularly. I'm trying to eat more healthily. I had some binges recently, though, but I'm like rotating in spaced out shifts between pizza, hamburgers, and hot dogs. I also had to finally throw in my dessert.
I feel more encouraged to dance than sing. I think I will record myself singing today, though.
So, yes, I will try to get in shape, and, when I am, switch to ballet. I might keep my walking, too, but ballet is a lot of work. I guess you have to eat right and get enough sleep to get your body going.
The other option would be to be in a movie, but I could mess around in ballet, first, to get experience and gain skills that could carry on into good acting. I firmly believe it is the dancer's responsibility to dance wisely and in a way that will benefit them in their future. I'm 26 and feeling healthy. So, I hope, when I turn 27, I will be ready for ballet! I do miss things like drawing and will do that, too. I've done that for fun my whole life, except when I was majoring in music.
...
Okay, so I can actually read into taking this much ballet. Here, if you want to practice:
orlandoballetschool.org - Then, click on "classes."
Taking the adult classes isn't a good idea. It's a waste of work-out time. True, I do nothing, but I sleep a lot these days and my day goes by fast. Now, I dedicate my time to the internet, posting. My other big thing now is I need to rearrange my room, the garage. What's nice is the door's plastered over from previous home owners.
I did take a trial class here, but they decided I shouldn't stay. Even at one of the minor campuses, they were dedicating time to the students there, like I saw individually training this one girl so she could get into a certain higher class. This was maybe 6 years ago. I ended up going to Central Florida Ballet School, which also hosts a professional company. They offer modern, jazz, lyrical, and tap, as well, I think. I almost did it but I guess succumbed to just wanting ballet and also wanted to grow. I probably should have kept going but got a lot better in the end.
I guess taking a break is important. I find myself wanting to start ballet now. I would like to take level 2. I would probably have to find a way to get to the bus, so I'm not sure if I can do it.
You know, though, I just want to know if it's okay. I mean, it probably is. They have people starting at 12. I'm not that tall.
So, I already deduced that an older person doesn't get in the way. It's just about the feel of a class of all the same age around. I find that people like me in their class so they can learn from me. I just need some brushing up, which is also what my ballet teacher in college recommended. At Central Florida Ballet School, the other school, they just invited me to their adult class, which is during the day, though. That could work out, as well.
I suppose this seems ideal
Central Florida Ballet School
though I'd feel more comfortable with kids at Orlando Ballet.
I see they have a DVD.
Intermediate & Advanced Ballet
I still would feel better at Orlando Ballet with the kids!
I just did some pliés in different positions and almost fell over! I'm not fat fat. So I Think I Can Dance.
I don't want to be a bad influence if I'm fatter, but I do look like a real person and look more polished than before.
It's funny I don't feel like eating too much now. I didn't go to the gym but jogged outside for an hour and a half, which is my usual scheduled route.
So, if you do ballet, I guess you should want to do a good performance that people seek out, like get a part in The Nutcracker. If I go back to ballet, I want to be fit, first, because that way I may succeed. I'll be able to balance, too. So, instead, I get more of a workout at the gym, rather than stationing in an easy class at my physical fitness level.
I'm concerned about the community college's dance major. It's half modern. I would think it would be a waste of a ballerina's time.
I saw the recital of Orlando Ballet. I may be able to get into the program for more serious older dancers, though I think it's for high schoolers. I think, if I can keep up with a younger class, I'd be allowed in. I honestly know I can make it talent-wise. It's just the memorizing and stretching that I need to improve. I did think during my jog I need to do stretches regularly. I'm trying to eat more healthily. I had some binges recently, though, but I'm like rotating in spaced out shifts between pizza, hamburgers, and hot dogs. I also had to finally throw in my dessert.
I feel more encouraged to dance than sing. I think I will record myself singing today, though.
So, yes, I will try to get in shape, and, when I am, switch to ballet. I might keep my walking, too, but ballet is a lot of work. I guess you have to eat right and get enough sleep to get your body going.
The other option would be to be in a movie, but I could mess around in ballet, first, to get experience and gain skills that could carry on into good acting. I firmly believe it is the dancer's responsibility to dance wisely and in a way that will benefit them in their future. I'm 26 and feeling healthy. So, I hope, when I turn 27, I will be ready for ballet! I do miss things like drawing and will do that, too. I've done that for fun my whole life, except when I was majoring in music.
...
Okay, so I can actually read into taking this much ballet. Here, if you want to practice:
orlandoballetschool.org - Then, click on "classes."
Taking the adult classes isn't a good idea. It's a waste of work-out time. True, I do nothing, but I sleep a lot these days and my day goes by fast. Now, I dedicate my time to the internet, posting. My other big thing now is I need to rearrange my room, the garage. What's nice is the door's plastered over from previous home owners.
I did take a trial class here, but they decided I shouldn't stay. Even at one of the minor campuses, they were dedicating time to the students there, like I saw individually training this one girl so she could get into a certain higher class. This was maybe 6 years ago. I ended up going to Central Florida Ballet School, which also hosts a professional company. They offer modern, jazz, lyrical, and tap, as well, I think. I almost did it but I guess succumbed to just wanting ballet and also wanted to grow. I probably should have kept going but got a lot better in the end.
I guess taking a break is important. I find myself wanting to start ballet now. I would like to take level 2. I would probably have to find a way to get to the bus, so I'm not sure if I can do it.
You know, though, I just want to know if it's okay. I mean, it probably is. They have people starting at 12. I'm not that tall.
So, I already deduced that an older person doesn't get in the way. It's just about the feel of a class of all the same age around. I find that people like me in their class so they can learn from me. I just need some brushing up, which is also what my ballet teacher in college recommended. At Central Florida Ballet School, the other school, they just invited me to their adult class, which is during the day, though. That could work out, as well.
I suppose this seems ideal
Central Florida Ballet School
though I'd feel more comfortable with kids at Orlando Ballet.
I see they have a DVD.
Intermediate & Advanced Ballet
I still would feel better at Orlando Ballet with the kids!
I just did some pliés in different positions and almost fell over! I'm not fat fat. So I Think I Can Dance.
I don't want to be a bad influence if I'm fatter, but I do look like a real person and look more polished than before.
It's funny I don't feel like eating too much now. I didn't go to the gym but jogged outside for an hour and a half, which is my usual scheduled route.
Every Clash of Ideas Calls for Attention
Every clash of ideas is a conspiracy. I mean of things that might be okay or not. It's things that have not been set or maybe some good ideas.
How bad is it if you can't help thinking something?
What if you're really mad? I suppose it's understandable, but it still has consequences.
I try not to get mad like that.
I try not to get mad like that.
Guns
Every movie theater, at least in Colorado, needs to have a scanner doorway like at the airport. The major city in Northeastern Florida has talking trash cans. I don't know how they do it and not get stopped up at everything, but it works. They need to put them in every major building, like schools, churches, movie theaters, large stores. The internet needs to be scanned, even e-mail. There needs to be internet police and local police internet awareness. Houses need to have windows as strong as shark tanks.
Something to Play With
People are excited about what they'll do to punish me. They think just because they were born in a certain era and were prim and proper, like they had blonde hair or were all Caucasian blood, they did something right and you did something wrong. I think that's why they're excited to read my blogs. They just simply hold the "n" word thing as their excuse. I know there are 2 reasons. One is because of the way other people respond to them and can read into their thoughts and the other set up as a discipline.
So, the ammo these people come in with is just their birth year, race, and maybe hair color. That's how they "start it" and insult you. I don't believe in that a birth year determines how good you are!
So, they target your main weakness and twist around the truth until the events consume you. Their job is to wait there and punish you. They let you mess up, too. In fact, they want you to. It's hard to know how. Then, when you "listen," literally, they do something you don't life.
So, they're sitting there excited like they're into you, but that's why, so they can do something to make you feel guilty.
It's funny how someone can get excited that they're a good person but then veer off and get hypertechnical until they do this, lure you in to get you to do the wrong thing and then make fun of you for it or do something you really don't like.
It's nice to be a person everyone likes, but there's no need to overreact and mess things up that can't be fixed! I don't see how anyone can believe I didn't mean the "n" word thing but thought they wanted me to do it, literally sending messages like in how they act and what they say, and then veer off and act like that's not how it went down. They want to find something there to pretend they're doing something special, special and smart. They want to make you feel bad about it to make themselves feel powerful and give them something to play with.
So, the ammo these people come in with is just their birth year, race, and maybe hair color. That's how they "start it" and insult you. I don't believe in that a birth year determines how good you are!
So, they target your main weakness and twist around the truth until the events consume you. Their job is to wait there and punish you. They let you mess up, too. In fact, they want you to. It's hard to know how. Then, when you "listen," literally, they do something you don't life.
So, they're sitting there excited like they're into you, but that's why, so they can do something to make you feel guilty.
It's funny how someone can get excited that they're a good person but then veer off and get hypertechnical until they do this, lure you in to get you to do the wrong thing and then make fun of you for it or do something you really don't like.
It's nice to be a person everyone likes, but there's no need to overreact and mess things up that can't be fixed! I don't see how anyone can believe I didn't mean the "n" word thing but thought they wanted me to do it, literally sending messages like in how they act and what they say, and then veer off and act like that's not how it went down. They want to find something there to pretend they're doing something special, special and smart. They want to make you feel bad about it to make themselves feel powerful and give them something to play with.
Think about it.
I may make a mistake, but a lot of people are wrong all the time and don't act right. I'm pretty much perfect, just with some hardships, which are unfair and due to a combination of jealousy and racism. Does that kinda make you mad? Well, I'm just some other person, successful in some ways, no reason to eradicate me. You're supposed to adjust your life to your new dreams! I still sense a problem in this logic flow with others. Please, do not get mad at someone for doing something rudimentary that you cannot do. If it's outlandish and like cheating and too happy for the wrong reasons is another thing that should be dwelt on, not trying to stimulate someone and like play with them and make them mess up. It's funny, I guess, when someone actually does this, like they're getting back at the world by hurting someone they're jealous of, jealous of the way they deal with things but not wanting to change their set personality, when it's time to change. You may say something is okay, but it may affect you later. There's a problem with doing things to people totally unrelated to reality, in dealing with issues teaching someone certain things.
I'm taken aback. People these days are so mean, and writing a blog is an easy way to tell about it. I'm not a bad person for doing that. If I mean someone specific, I will address them as such or post in a way that indicates just that.
I do try to stop, but like, when I change, I find that base has already been taken, like people are waiting for you to slip up against yourself, or others, and to make you feel bad.
People seem to not care if they're not much to me, just to make sure they're honest about something I don't know.
Sometimes, I'm risqué and do things when I'm not quite all there, like I am now. It's just hard to say exactly what I'm trying to get across as the point. I kinda forgot too much to reach that end.
It's funny since the "n" word thing, people are still admitting new things, things that have not been admitted before, and always doing in in some way that is against me and probably often both me and the other person. I just can't believe it. That is so messed up. It doesn't even make sense. I guess someone really wanted to overcome me. Something convinced them. It's like someone's managed to hypnotize everyone into submission of why they'd be against me. Speaking of which, Obama cancelled a speech or something here after The Dark Knight Rises shootings. I blame the person who spread the rumor from when I was in the mental hospital. It cannot be avoided. He looked like the same race as Obama and got blackheads. People here don't do that for your benefit, ultimately, but for the fact that they think they have to do it. If someone literally told everyone I did something, they would believe it and label me as dishonest, whereas, before, things were okay, actually. It's just that I got mad and hit the wall and gained weight and stuff. I don't know when I started singing, maybe after the "n" word thing. It was sad. After awhile, I got sent to the mental hospital. We changed my room to the garage, ah now I remember that time.
...
I'm taken aback. People these days are so mean, and writing a blog is an easy way to tell about it. I'm not a bad person for doing that. If I mean someone specific, I will address them as such or post in a way that indicates just that.
I do try to stop, but like, when I change, I find that base has already been taken, like people are waiting for you to slip up against yourself, or others, and to make you feel bad.
People seem to not care if they're not much to me, just to make sure they're honest about something I don't know.
Sometimes, I'm risqué and do things when I'm not quite all there, like I am now. It's just hard to say exactly what I'm trying to get across as the point. I kinda forgot too much to reach that end.
It's funny since the "n" word thing, people are still admitting new things, things that have not been admitted before, and always doing in in some way that is against me and probably often both me and the other person. I just can't believe it. That is so messed up. It doesn't even make sense. I guess someone really wanted to overcome me. Something convinced them. It's like someone's managed to hypnotize everyone into submission of why they'd be against me. Speaking of which, Obama cancelled a speech or something here after The Dark Knight Rises shootings. I blame the person who spread the rumor from when I was in the mental hospital. It cannot be avoided. He looked like the same race as Obama and got blackheads. People here don't do that for your benefit, ultimately, but for the fact that they think they have to do it. If someone literally told everyone I did something, they would believe it and label me as dishonest, whereas, before, things were okay, actually. It's just that I got mad and hit the wall and gained weight and stuff. I don't know when I started singing, maybe after the "n" word thing. It was sad. After awhile, I got sent to the mental hospital. We changed my room to the garage, ah now I remember that time.
...
Anyone who thinks I need to be punished doesn't know what they're doing.
Anyone who thinks I need to be punished doesn't know what they're doing.
This is the internet. I can blog about what I want.
I'm an honest person, obviously, and I mean no one no harm. A lot of people are mean to me. Sure, I have thoughts against their actions, but I never taunt them and ruin their life.
People get mad at me for petty reasons.
I've had people do wrong things to me and still be accepted, whereas I was not. Mostly, they probably have justified their reasons, however. Usually, they never apologize and never change their ways. I've seen them get in trouble a lot, these days, in a way. It's funny how they don't have the will to take it back.
If someone bothers me, I can say something on the internet. It's all because of that "n" word thing. People just don't treat me right. They just don't. I can tell. I mean exactly what I say.
I'm worried that some people can't take certain things others say. See, that has never happened to me. Maybe, it's people not from somewhere like Florida. People in Florida solve their own problems and often make mistakes, depending on the area.
I guess I'm more upset about what I've done. I just feel funny to be judged for being mad while I try to express myself. I mean no harm. What I say isn't altogether worthless. I do know that a lot of people are very elaborate thinkers, though. Maybe, it's time to move on. I still feel that people want to get back at me. I want to make them happy, but they want wrong things to happen. Some of them may do it consciously, but others I don't know. It's usually just "what" happens. They know what they think. I know some people aren't altogether quite there? That's kinda cool, though!
This is the internet. I can blog about what I want.
I'm an honest person, obviously, and I mean no one no harm. A lot of people are mean to me. Sure, I have thoughts against their actions, but I never taunt them and ruin their life.
People get mad at me for petty reasons.
I've had people do wrong things to me and still be accepted, whereas I was not. Mostly, they probably have justified their reasons, however. Usually, they never apologize and never change their ways. I've seen them get in trouble a lot, these days, in a way. It's funny how they don't have the will to take it back.
If someone bothers me, I can say something on the internet. It's all because of that "n" word thing. People just don't treat me right. They just don't. I can tell. I mean exactly what I say.
I'm worried that some people can't take certain things others say. See, that has never happened to me. Maybe, it's people not from somewhere like Florida. People in Florida solve their own problems and often make mistakes, depending on the area.
I guess I'm more upset about what I've done. I just feel funny to be judged for being mad while I try to express myself. I mean no harm. What I say isn't altogether worthless. I do know that a lot of people are very elaborate thinkers, though. Maybe, it's time to move on. I still feel that people want to get back at me. I want to make them happy, but they want wrong things to happen. Some of them may do it consciously, but others I don't know. It's usually just "what" happens. They know what they think. I know some people aren't altogether quite there? That's kinda cool, though!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
How You Can Be Beyond the Olympics!
So, by saying the back handspring was beyond the Olympics, I meant to insinuate also that it's about the dance element, like how pretty you move. People think it's all on how they jerk their muscles, ahaha!
Sending out Sparks
In how I said people like people when they conform to me, my last audition I made the people feel really good who I was working with. For some reason, everything just clicked. It's notorious that the Chinese find simple solutions by making everything seem basic, expected. However, it doesn't seem to be true. I was just thinking during my jog of seeing a gymnast or someone do a back handspring in a commercial, I think on YouTube or some site online. They were beyond the Olympics. They looked so happy and it was so calculated and spunky, also very flowing yet quick and constant movement. The back handspring itself was kinda floppy, honestly. I saw a car at one point, and I found that it was because they were racist and white. I've said before, it's a big thing when I was a kid that people were tested for if they really wanted to be European, and like no kid passed that test, nor the adults I presume. I did, though. Whatever "that test" was. So, these people just soak in all the racist smothering until they reach a level of happiness that should be unreachable, or something radical.
I do not approve of punishment.
I think if someone has a problem, it should be fixed.
Also, I sensed something poring in. I don't think people quite get one element of me. They think I'm just an old fart. They've tossed aside the idea that I enjoy being very proper, sometimes.
I think because of the "n" word thing, people are deducing my relationships in confounded ways.
I find that people conform to me and that people like them when they do that.
Also, I sensed something poring in. I don't think people quite get one element of me. They think I'm just an old fart. They've tossed aside the idea that I enjoy being very proper, sometimes.
I think because of the "n" word thing, people are deducing my relationships in confounded ways.
I find that people conform to me and that people like them when they do that.
Time Alone or With Your Family
It's not nice when someone just wants to bug you. It seems somehow they reach you and affect your life.
I really want this idea that it's okay to punish me and treat me differently ends. I've even got the drift that the people who I thought acted like they wanted me to call their daughter the "n" word in order to make it not seem scary and because words are just words ... are actually mad at me, when it's their fault. I never meant them any harm, and this is what I get. I get insulted for doing things by accident that aren't as mean as others but maybe suggestive.
It's just that I grew up being assured I was a good person. Then, people come up on me and are critical, as though I never inquired the idea.
Things are kinda cool. I try to take them positively, but it just seems like the punishment ideas keep coming, even if I want to block them out. It's not really funny. It's only because of the "n" word thing! I thought people got it wasn't my fault! It's not alright to lie and say it's cool to torture me. It's like they'll be hurt if they don't hurt me. I thought this was over.
I think the "n" word thing started that I ended up in the mental hospital, after it happened. Someone like cornered me and read into what I did. The next thing I knew, it seemed like everyone knew. Eventually, I got out. It seemed like everyone knew. I did go back, but even before I was having problems. My dad said if I go back one more time I'm moving out. It is very miserable there. It's almost not survivable, to sit in a room all day where there's not enough seating and with workers at a desk in the center constantly shifting through papers and closing binders. I was at a loss for sleep, at the time.
I really want this idea that it's okay to punish me and treat me differently ends. I've even got the drift that the people who I thought acted like they wanted me to call their daughter the "n" word in order to make it not seem scary and because words are just words ... are actually mad at me, when it's their fault. I never meant them any harm, and this is what I get. I get insulted for doing things by accident that aren't as mean as others but maybe suggestive.
It's just that I grew up being assured I was a good person. Then, people come up on me and are critical, as though I never inquired the idea.
Things are kinda cool. I try to take them positively, but it just seems like the punishment ideas keep coming, even if I want to block them out. It's not really funny. It's only because of the "n" word thing! I thought people got it wasn't my fault! It's not alright to lie and say it's cool to torture me. It's like they'll be hurt if they don't hurt me. I thought this was over.
I think the "n" word thing started that I ended up in the mental hospital, after it happened. Someone like cornered me and read into what I did. The next thing I knew, it seemed like everyone knew. Eventually, I got out. It seemed like everyone knew. I did go back, but even before I was having problems. My dad said if I go back one more time I'm moving out. It is very miserable there. It's almost not survivable, to sit in a room all day where there's not enough seating and with workers at a desk in the center constantly shifting through papers and closing binders. I was at a loss for sleep, at the time.
North and South Chinese, Technically
I don't believe South Chinese are delicate in the way more North Chinese are. Maybe, the Vietnamese are, in a way. They can be skinny. That doesn't make them fragile. The Chinese are very different from Europeans. My mom is different because she's Chinese-Indonesian. The Chinese were not settled by Europeans, but Indonesia was, by the Dutch. So, it must be a pretty interesting place, now. It seems more Dutch than Dutch. Whitney Houston was part Dutch, and she seemed more Dutch than Dutch. Wikipedia says in the Chinese-Indonesian entry that some of the Chinese-Indonesians are considered more Dutch than the Dutch. They took down where it said they were raided in their homes by Europeans and called as Chinese the most hated race. With all the respect mainland China garners, that says something bad for Europeans, who don't know war is never right, never right and never good.
Worried
So, you can get mad at your parents if something is lodged in your brain that you're mad about. I know just who to blame, teachers.
I know, I went to go say hi to my dad and was feeling saucy. I was just upset about someone. When I got to him, I just felt normal, though.
I also know for a fact that people are wrong to want Asians to wallow in self-pity. It's just wrong, end of discussion!
I know, I went to go say hi to my dad and was feeling saucy. I was just upset about someone. When I got to him, I just felt normal, though.
I also know for a fact that people are wrong to want Asians to wallow in self-pity. It's just wrong, end of discussion!
Black People Outside of My House
There was one going back and forth across the street, and it was late at night. He even made me stimulated in a certain area. It wasn't bad, basically, but it wasn't welcomed. Black people have this problem. Them and Spanish people boss people around. Also Middle Easterners don't understand white people's intelligence. Watch out, a lot of them look Caucasian.
So, today, there was a black male and female like pausing. The girl kept making me feel stimulated. They were treating me like I was a weak Chinese or something. I also at some point in my jog felt that black and white people were all that made the world go round, but white people alone sounds more intelligent because they don't whine about European things, which I enjoy. They have stopped the world from working right. We've had 9-11, Columbine, and The Dark Knight Rises shooting in Colorado 2 nights ago. So, the black male and female outside were like pacing around it seems, teasing me, spying me, as I had to go to my house eventually, as it was late.
So, today, there was a black male and female like pausing. The girl kept making me feel stimulated. They were treating me like I was a weak Chinese or something. I also at some point in my jog felt that black and white people were all that made the world go round, but white people alone sounds more intelligent because they don't whine about European things, which I enjoy. They have stopped the world from working right. We've had 9-11, Columbine, and The Dark Knight Rises shooting in Colorado 2 nights ago. So, the black male and female outside were like pacing around it seems, teasing me, spying me, as I had to go to my house eventually, as it was late.
People are SO nasty to Asians.
I hope Jews aren't jealous. I mean, people are aware of it, but they are aware of any culture.
People are actually pretty nice to Jews.
I think Hitler's goal was just to contain them, but, like with the death sentence, he murdered them as though they were wild people. I think it's because they lived with Europeans, and at the time Africans and Middle Easterners didn't, as much. For worrying about talking in French, people sure have immersed their beings into sorta bossing people around racially.
Obsessed With Feeding Me
In 2 ways, there may not be any meaning behind it, being angry at me being fed, but it seems everyone always wants to pretend I'm in trouble for actually 1 thing I did that was actually in fact even a misunderstanding.
"The Dark Knight Rises"
So, the movie was good. I went in knowing the plot structure. It was good acting and graphics. I did really like Anne Hathaway a lot and Marion Cotillard, who is French but looks kind of Middle Eastern at least in one of her movies. They've both worked with Tim Burton.
I liked the flow of the story and the kind of excitement yet calmness about it. The boys were pretty neat, too.
I closed my eyes and knew the voice of one of the older adults when they spoke. It was interesting. I didn't know him before, but I might have seen him in another movie and just don't know.
I liked the movie itself, a lot. I paid attention as much as I could fathom. I didn't really get all the details put together like a story. I just guess I have to get used to watching movies. I've been staying on my room posting on the internet, including about The Dark Knight, but I've started to come out to eat with my family and watch movies. I've gotten to where I can easily stand and enjoy sitting through any movie at the movie theater, where it's exciting and big somehow. Like I added as a tip, I reread something, like an article, and eventually I understand it if it's difficult.
I liked the flow of the story and the kind of excitement yet calmness about it. The boys were pretty neat, too.
I closed my eyes and knew the voice of one of the older adults when they spoke. It was interesting. I didn't know him before, but I might have seen him in another movie and just don't know.
I liked the movie itself, a lot. I paid attention as much as I could fathom. I didn't really get all the details put together like a story. I just guess I have to get used to watching movies. I've been staying on my room posting on the internet, including about The Dark Knight, but I've started to come out to eat with my family and watch movies. I've gotten to where I can easily stand and enjoy sitting through any movie at the movie theater, where it's exciting and big somehow. Like I added as a tip, I reread something, like an article, and eventually I understand it if it's difficult.
A Story at the Movies
I saw The Dark Knight Rises, today. I sat in front and center, while my dad and brother were back in the audience. Someone sat 2 seats away from me, and, as always, people detested this person. At least, it wasn't a boy jiggling in the seats and loudly putting their drink down every 10 seconds or so. Still, they moved a lot for a person at the movies, like reacting to something at a certain time like they're giving some message of something "mean you deserve." It's 2 hours and 44 minutes long. I had to close my eyes, tired from looking up, but when I awoke I was awake more and could just look straight and see for some reason. I'm not sure who was sitting by me, but they were obese and short. There were people next to them. A guy crossed in front of me with some food and seemed sympathetic toward me. He was on the other side with some other people. No one was on my other side. I kinda looked more to that way.
The Right Thing or Overboard
They might be nice to you, but others are forever onto you about them, in a bad way. You just catch the strength of the twist in their messages, somehow.
Joking
Have you ever seen someone get sarcastic, like they used to do something and then they made you feel bad and act sarcastic about it. Like, they might do it in a taunting way, now, or ban together as a family to some extent in that. Like, they'll be kinda spunky and menacing. Like, that thing could be something they used to do to make you feel important or maybe as a joke or something?
Something There That Wasn't There Before
Perhaps, there's something there for someone as compensation for caring about fundamental things of others, though that may be their kids. People should have their kids as a priority. I mean, though, like they bring you into their situation and have something as bait, while they affect your life in some way or restrain it, somehow, for a long time.
Flip Side :|
So, they care enough to prevent something happening to their own kid, like feeling bad about something even if they did something wrong and someone else didn't or maybe realize really no one has to be seen as doing anything wrong, but they don't care about others, who they affect.
Reputation ... Handling Everything Socially
Some people do everything for someone else, like their own kid, but manage to inform you they won't do a thing for your needs as a person socially as though you're from an older obviously staler generation. You know, it just gets a rise out of you, when it's something you like a lot. Also, people old enough to be your parents would like an older generation, obviously, because they would have them as people they look up to, somehow. Perhaps, they cling to the parental generation of their own more.
What I mean to say is, they could lure you into thinking they want to be more upfront and then finding some way to swindle you of your reputation. Like, they'll say they didn't insinuate that or act like you did something wrong when you didn't know, something so important.
What I mean to say is, they could lure you into thinking they want to be more upfront and then finding some way to swindle you of your reputation. Like, they'll say they didn't insinuate that or act like you did something wrong when you didn't know, something so important.
Sarcasm
Some people find ways to be sarcastic about something they haven't really gone into much. Like, you don't get why they're attracted to dark hair. Maybe, they find it can be attractive and then get jealous and as though they have to listen to what other people say in how they aim for their hair to look. I mean, they could go out in the sun and it might get lighter. Mine's getting lighter a lot from lying in the tub and I use Sheer Blonde for the lightest shades and Radiant Red.
Confused
Obviously, some people get confused as to if it's their kids or their partner who deserves certain things.
Choices
With some people, it's obvious they've gained unneeded attention for things they've done wrong, like acting like they were in the right and someone else was in the wrong but acting all confused about it like it isn't right. Maybe, it's the other person, who is probably younger, who was also confused.
Some people just end up getting certain attention and forget about more intellectual things, though. Like, they look at everything like it's like a bunch of purple flowers.
Some people just end up getting certain attention and forget about more intellectual things, though. Like, they look at everything like it's like a bunch of purple flowers.
Expressing Feelings Just to Affect Others
It seems people who caused things don't get in trouble, but, rather, the good guys do for playing along, like for a relationship or something they want you to do. People don't seem to listen, though, for what's what, and it endangers the lives of others. They want to get every nook and cranny, but something is definitely wrong.
Anyway, some people feel what they feel, but they think about it and then feel something else. They say they're okay, but then you find, unprepared, at least for others, it is an issue. They try to make it seem as nostalgic and hard to bear, as possible. You find, for some reason, that person is going along upset, supposedly, not caring about other people, just acting like it's all about them or them and maybe their kids or something like that, in some way that affects your life. Like, they'll want to be friends and then confuse you just to throw something back at you that's not right and act like you did something wrong and get everyone to do and think the same thing. Like, they'll say it's for their technical family, even if they're in a relationship not married. They'll get mad at obscure things you do, and they'll act like it was "for their family!"
Anyway, some people feel what they feel, but they think about it and then feel something else. They say they're okay, but then you find, unprepared, at least for others, it is an issue. They try to make it seem as nostalgic and hard to bear, as possible. You find, for some reason, that person is going along upset, supposedly, not caring about other people, just acting like it's all about them or them and maybe their kids or something like that, in some way that affects your life. Like, they'll want to be friends and then confuse you just to throw something back at you that's not right and act like you did something wrong and get everyone to do and think the same thing. Like, they'll say it's for their technical family, even if they're in a relationship not married. They'll get mad at obscure things you do, and they'll act like it was "for their family!"
Chasing After Your Kids Like Lovers Do
Did you notice people give special priority to their kids? Like, if they do something they're not supposed to do, they care because they're their kids, whereas they do get on with others yet don't really care about anything with them, like that? Say, their kids don't deserve it. They figure they're their parents and that they deserve whatever help they can give them, as anyone does deserve help to do the right thing if they're confused. Like, if I'm rebellious to my parents in attitude, they don't respond to me well. I'm not, really. I just like to play around, and it doesn't bother me. They don't try to praise me for all the right things that I do, at that time and not for awhile, directly.
Some parents as people don't like to be critical. They just want to be mushy and bright. I don't want to listen to them. People just aren't nice to me when I'm social. I'm usually better off than they are, though, because I have a brain now. People like to do that to stimulate others and bother them using it as a reason to insult them for something totally different. It's even things that aren't true. People need to stop telling people to act this and that way and making up things. They act like they're more important than they are, unless you think everyone is a nonjudgmental level of importance. Like, they think it's okay to ruin others. They think that because they're important. They don't care if someone's mean to you. They just always think what they can think. They look for things that happen that can be picked on, only to find that they themselves must live that way.
I think it's a sin for adults to be weak to their "youngsters." They think they can't control their thoughts of what happened, but they do make the world right for their own kids when they have them. They beg attention and such from the world and then say you did something wrong or just dump your dedicated time involuntarily.
Kids like to defend the quirks of their own parents toward others. They like to blame things on others that happen for actual reasons, and they just do it that way, like they're so affected. They chose to be. I used to be affected, but I wasn't mean back, ever. That's why I don't get into so much fights myself.
If you're tired, people will take that as a sign you're doing something wrong, as well, or if you like "skipped your coffee," even.
Adults refusing to handle things you do, as though they're "not old enough to be your parents" and like because they don't want you to seem as cool, like you're from an older generation's dishing of parenthood, just to be annoying though, thinking that only their generation deserves to exist and "stealing" emotions for others for their own brood. They entice you to them and then do everything wrong and act like you were the one who came up to them, in the first place, when that's simply not true. If it were true, then they wouldn't have gotten in a bad mood. It's like all planned.
Even if you're in a good mood, just with some problems like being slightly tired, people will go in and criticize you.
So, I've figured younger baby boomers don't know how to "bump it." They're really just along a charming melody of sweets and flowers. They have another side. They just don't believe it's there, but it is. They're not using it to their advantage, but they are, in another way. Supposedly, compared to today, they're a part of something real and learned to eat healthily rather than a bunch of artificial snacks to keep them going like it seems younger people do. They tend to be skinnier or bonier.
Some people are racist, but usually those people have racial problems themselves, if not in all cases, essentially. That's not even supposed to be brought up. Sure, you can twist it. It's true, though, it's about effort and not how society treats you because everyone knows, fundamentally, society isn't right. I've been arguing this in my head, since last night. I've not been not trying to look like a real person. Society is just hard in America, and I'm not all American. I'm sure white people could succeed in it. They still carry their heritage form Europe to the day. I carry my non-American heritage, which is like European, too. My mom is fresh from out-of-the-country, so I'm of that generation in the non-American "real" world. I've had to deal with it, but I've not totally succumbed to it, you might say. All the other people with like a non-American mom, I can relate, look plastered as like "nothing" to something real. Like, their American side seems like something invisible, like, something that's not physically strong and intact. It's like it's plastered onto something that is the opposite, that is very real and reactive, large, complex. They act like it's this big hard mass of something. They act like in most ways it's better than their American side, which is the opposite in the gig. They don't act American at all, thinking and having more power from their other side. I'm the opposite. I've come to terms with the strengths and ways of fitting in with both sides. There are a lot of strengths to being American. You're funky and quirky. You have a sense of humor that is unbelievable. You have a special culture that's rapid-paced and modern. Learn to couple that with the amazing presence of the "real world," or something from a country other than the Americas and Canada, and you have something going. You basically have the strengths of both equally. If you fully succumb as person, as anyone can, to both sides, you will be a happy happy person. There are, now that I think of it, people who are not like this, special people. I mean, like, I'm thinking of famous people. I was thinking of less famous people in my writing prior. What I've experienced in very well-liked people, like who are famous, is they experience different feelings than others. The boys, in general, are attached to the moms. The girls are treated like they're weaklings but have a lot of feelings. I dunno, I mean not fragile, in a way, outfront. It definitely seems to be a treasure like that. I speak from my own experience. What I meant by weak in this case was literally succumbing to, like, the power of others, like it was a pleasure, like relaxing and feeling something stimulating. I tried to avoid it, myself, and assume others did, as well, but that's what's dished out to us, by the world and therefore by our parents.
People show off the fact that they're not getting something that you in some way deserved, but something happened to you that wasn't really your fault and they still want to make you feel guilty for it. I'm pretty sure the Catholic church and every other religion other than magic are against it.
Some parents as people don't like to be critical. They just want to be mushy and bright. I don't want to listen to them. People just aren't nice to me when I'm social. I'm usually better off than they are, though, because I have a brain now. People like to do that to stimulate others and bother them using it as a reason to insult them for something totally different. It's even things that aren't true. People need to stop telling people to act this and that way and making up things. They act like they're more important than they are, unless you think everyone is a nonjudgmental level of importance. Like, they think it's okay to ruin others. They think that because they're important. They don't care if someone's mean to you. They just always think what they can think. They look for things that happen that can be picked on, only to find that they themselves must live that way.
I think it's a sin for adults to be weak to their "youngsters." They think they can't control their thoughts of what happened, but they do make the world right for their own kids when they have them. They beg attention and such from the world and then say you did something wrong or just dump your dedicated time involuntarily.
Kids like to defend the quirks of their own parents toward others. They like to blame things on others that happen for actual reasons, and they just do it that way, like they're so affected. They chose to be. I used to be affected, but I wasn't mean back, ever. That's why I don't get into so much fights myself.
If you're tired, people will take that as a sign you're doing something wrong, as well, or if you like "skipped your coffee," even.
Adults refusing to handle things you do, as though they're "not old enough to be your parents" and like because they don't want you to seem as cool, like you're from an older generation's dishing of parenthood, just to be annoying though, thinking that only their generation deserves to exist and "stealing" emotions for others for their own brood. They entice you to them and then do everything wrong and act like you were the one who came up to them, in the first place, when that's simply not true. If it were true, then they wouldn't have gotten in a bad mood. It's like all planned.
Even if you're in a good mood, just with some problems like being slightly tired, people will go in and criticize you.
So, I've figured younger baby boomers don't know how to "bump it." They're really just along a charming melody of sweets and flowers. They have another side. They just don't believe it's there, but it is. They're not using it to their advantage, but they are, in another way. Supposedly, compared to today, they're a part of something real and learned to eat healthily rather than a bunch of artificial snacks to keep them going like it seems younger people do. They tend to be skinnier or bonier.
Some people are racist, but usually those people have racial problems themselves, if not in all cases, essentially. That's not even supposed to be brought up. Sure, you can twist it. It's true, though, it's about effort and not how society treats you because everyone knows, fundamentally, society isn't right. I've been arguing this in my head, since last night. I've not been not trying to look like a real person. Society is just hard in America, and I'm not all American. I'm sure white people could succeed in it. They still carry their heritage form Europe to the day. I carry my non-American heritage, which is like European, too. My mom is fresh from out-of-the-country, so I'm of that generation in the non-American "real" world. I've had to deal with it, but I've not totally succumbed to it, you might say. All the other people with like a non-American mom, I can relate, look plastered as like "nothing" to something real. Like, their American side seems like something invisible, like, something that's not physically strong and intact. It's like it's plastered onto something that is the opposite, that is very real and reactive, large, complex. They act like it's this big hard mass of something. They act like in most ways it's better than their American side, which is the opposite in the gig. They don't act American at all, thinking and having more power from their other side. I'm the opposite. I've come to terms with the strengths and ways of fitting in with both sides. There are a lot of strengths to being American. You're funky and quirky. You have a sense of humor that is unbelievable. You have a special culture that's rapid-paced and modern. Learn to couple that with the amazing presence of the "real world," or something from a country other than the Americas and Canada, and you have something going. You basically have the strengths of both equally. If you fully succumb as person, as anyone can, to both sides, you will be a happy happy person. There are, now that I think of it, people who are not like this, special people. I mean, like, I'm thinking of famous people. I was thinking of less famous people in my writing prior. What I've experienced in very well-liked people, like who are famous, is they experience different feelings than others. The boys, in general, are attached to the moms. The girls are treated like they're weaklings but have a lot of feelings. I dunno, I mean not fragile, in a way, outfront. It definitely seems to be a treasure like that. I speak from my own experience. What I meant by weak in this case was literally succumbing to, like, the power of others, like it was a pleasure, like relaxing and feeling something stimulating. I tried to avoid it, myself, and assume others did, as well, but that's what's dished out to us, by the world and therefore by our parents.
People show off the fact that they're not getting something that you in some way deserved, but something happened to you that wasn't really your fault and they still want to make you feel guilty for it. I'm pretty sure the Catholic church and every other religion other than magic are against it.
Ballet, Drama, or Swim
I'm having a hard time deciding what I should have done. In drama, it was even strange if you sang. College drama is very different, as well. Where I'm from, it was more popular to work backstage. Non-drama majors were the actors, often. As for working out, swim must be fun, but I think I'd rather just go to the gym and swim on my own accord. I want to be a film actor, so maybe drama was a good route. I know, instead of piano, I could have done drama. I feel like a more interesting person to have done different things growing up and then came to realize my joy for drama. I'm 26, now, though. I'm guessing the community college is serving as a haven for recent high school graduates. I'm working out a lot and trying to get back on my diet. I'm hoping that will get me to be a film actor. I'm sad I didn't take the Miami offer to model, but I was still catching up on sleep. It's too bad because I was 22. So, that was 2008. That's 4 years ago. That would have helped me out. I guess, now, I more want to be just a film actor. I got the Miami offer on MySpace. It's sad to think I'm too old to be a model. They would have helped me move up to become an actor, they said. I was even asked about music, if I knew anyone, but I wasn't ready, myself. A big producer in the area asked me. He was African-American. I also lost contact with a boy who I felt I got on well with, but he never asked me back like other people did when I changed my MySpace and I lost the link to his MySpace. I did ballet kind of just in case but was doing other things on the side. I ended up being told not to take voice in college because I was too shy but still encouraged in ballet. Now, I'm out of ballet, partly because it doesn't serve me well at 26. I still like singing, but I'm not as serious as a pro, I have to admit. I could be, but I've been having rough times. It's hard to tell what's kept me up all night. It's basically a time issue, with the singing. I have time. I guess the thing is I have to focus on certain things. I'm getting thinner, but I don't really look like a model. That's what makes me interesting, though. I have gotten taller, though. I need to lose my double chin and the fat around my stomach and thighs and all over at least some. I pretty much benefited from all my different experiences and managed to also lead a well-balanced life, though I could have done more and not worried about things. In a way, I wish I didn't do any activities, except maybe drama. It's a social activity for high schoolers and even grade schoolers. I did have fun singing in choir. It seems to have lost its luster. Ever since I went to college, things from before didn't seem as serious, though they were deterrents in my life. Ballet is healthy, but sometimes it seems like too much. I did feel better in the adult class but ended up going back with some girls a bit younger. The girls my age left this school. This school had special community activities and seemed like a place where you live to enjoy dance and were rigid but not like a factory. I always felt special to do ballet, but I suppose I should not have. Here's what I wish my schedule was:
High School
APG = Advanced Placement|Gifted
G = Gifted
H = Honors
T = Talented
Freshman
1 - English II - APG
2 - Geometry - G
3 - Biology I - H
4 - World Geography
5 - PE I
6 - Freshman Orientation | Civics
7 - Talented Theater I
Sophomore
1 - English III - APG
2 - Algebra II - G
3 - Biology II
4 - PE I | Health
5 - Free Enterprise |
6 - Talented Theater II
7 -
Junior
1 - English IV - APG
2 - American History - H
3 - Talented Theater III
Senior
1 - Talented Theater IV
College
Freshman
1 - Honors 1st Year Seminar - 3
2 - Honors Interdisciplinary Humanities Seminar - 3
3 - Honors Creative Arts and Cultures - 3
4 - Acting I - 3
5 - Theater History - 3
6 - Play Production - 1
16
1 - Honors English/Literature - 3
2 - Honors History - 3
3 - Honors Philosophy - 3
4 - Dramatic Imagin - 3
5 - Move Theater Workshop - 3
6 - Play Production - 1
16
Sophomore
1 - Honors Religious Studies - 3
2 - Honors Social Science, including Economics - 3
3 - Honors Mathematics OR MATH A257 - 3
4 - Stagecraft I - 3
5 - Directing - 3
6 - Play Production - 1
16
1 - Honors Natural ScienceOR an NSCI 100+ - 3
2 - Stagecraft II - 3
3 - Vocal Theater Workshop - 3
4 - Theater Arts Elective Sequence I - 3
5 - Theater Arts Elective Sequence I - 3
6 - Play Production - 1
16
Junior
1 - Theater Arts Elective Sequence II - 3
2 - Theater Arts Elective Sequence II - 3
3 - Foreign Language - 3
4 - World Theater 1 - 3
5 - Fine Arts - 3
15
1 - World Theater 2 - 3
2 - Shakespeare - 3
3 - Drama Literature - 3
9
I need 22 credit hours of electives, so I would do the film minor.
1 - How to Read a Film - 3
2 - Studies in American Cinema - 3
3 - Creative Non-Fiction Workshop - 3
4 - Film and the Art of Literary Adaptation - 3
5 - Studies in European Cinema - 3
6 - Screen Power - 3
7 - Ireland Abroad Program - 3 (Summer?)
8 - Special Project - ?
22+
____
110+
I might do this:
http://www.seminolestate.edu/arts/theatre/the-atre.php
Hover the mouse at the bottom center and go to page 318 and look at the bottom left:
http://www.catalog.sdes.ucf.edu/UCFUGRDCatalog1213.pdf
I guess this would get me going. I might just do the 1st college, though, just get an AA.
High School
APG = Advanced Placement|Gifted
G = Gifted
H = Honors
T = Talented
Freshman
1 - English II - APG
2 - Geometry - G
3 - Biology I - H
4 - World Geography
5 - PE I
6 - Freshman Orientation | Civics
7 - Talented Theater I
Sophomore
1 - English III - APG
2 - Algebra II - G
3 - Biology II
4 - PE I | Health
5 - Free Enterprise |
6 - Talented Theater II
7 -
Junior
1 - English IV - APG
2 - American History - H
3 - Talented Theater III
Senior
1 - Talented Theater IV
College
Freshman
1 - Honors 1st Year Seminar - 3
2 - Honors Interdisciplinary Humanities Seminar - 3
3 - Honors Creative Arts and Cultures - 3
4 - Acting I - 3
5 - Theater History - 3
6 - Play Production - 1
16
1 - Honors English/Literature - 3
2 - Honors History - 3
3 - Honors Philosophy - 3
4 - Dramatic Imagin - 3
5 - Move Theater Workshop - 3
6 - Play Production - 1
16
Sophomore
1 - Honors Religious Studies - 3
2 - Honors Social Science, including Economics - 3
3 - Honors Mathematics OR MATH A257 - 3
4 - Stagecraft I - 3
5 - Directing - 3
6 - Play Production - 1
16
1 - Honors Natural ScienceOR an NSCI 100+ - 3
2 - Stagecraft II - 3
3 - Vocal Theater Workshop - 3
4 - Theater Arts Elective Sequence I - 3
5 - Theater Arts Elective Sequence I - 3
6 - Play Production - 1
16
Junior
1 - Theater Arts Elective Sequence II - 3
2 - Theater Arts Elective Sequence II - 3
3 - Foreign Language - 3
4 - World Theater 1 - 3
5 - Fine Arts - 3
15
1 - World Theater 2 - 3
2 - Shakespeare - 3
3 - Drama Literature - 3
9
I need 22 credit hours of electives, so I would do the film minor.
1 - How to Read a Film - 3
2 - Studies in American Cinema - 3
3 - Creative Non-Fiction Workshop - 3
4 - Film and the Art of Literary Adaptation - 3
5 - Studies in European Cinema - 3
6 - Screen Power - 3
7 - Ireland Abroad Program - 3 (Summer?)
8 - Special Project - ?
22+
____
110+
I might do this:
http://www.seminolestate.edu/arts/theatre/the-atre.php
Hover the mouse at the bottom center and go to page 318 and look at the bottom left:
http://www.catalog.sdes.ucf.edu/UCFUGRDCatalog1213.pdf
I guess this would get me going. I might just do the 1st college, though, just get an AA.
Test
Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test
Test
Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test Test
What do you think of people
who say to drop everything and go hippy?
Like, maybe they think you should spend less time working but not in order to exercise more nor catch up on rest. It might get you into trouble for not being able to work properly or something. I had that feeling. I still tried to work, just ran into trouble. For me, it was more of a fanciful flight or flight of fantasy. I fasted and ate healthy. Following that time, I ate a lot of healthy food. I ended up getting off my diet when I was up north when there was a hurricane at my real college. They didn't let me continue singing, anyway, which leads me to wonder if I shouldn't go back. They said I was too shy. I still like singing. My goal is to become a movie actor. I think movie actors should be able to dance and sing, but I get more of a workout at the gym. I need to practice monologues, too. I dunno, though, movie acting is different. I want to be a big star and so have to take care of myself. Singing was a way to express my personality, and it's given me a stronger voice, though I feel as though I've always shied myself away from singing with direction in order to be my own will. I guess I'm still toying with wanting to be a movie actor and not singing as much as a pro. However, pro singers can always be in musicals if they can re-register from their operatic voices. Some musicals even require dancing. It seems as though I'd do well in musical theater, but I like ballet a lot. I like musicals and opera about the same now. At first, coming home from college, I was thinking I'd learn opera or classical singing. After a few years, I went on to do musical theater, and it's definitely helped. I don't know about going into it totally. I was singing today but didn't record anything. I guess I want to go to bed soon.
Like, maybe they think you should spend less time working but not in order to exercise more nor catch up on rest. It might get you into trouble for not being able to work properly or something. I had that feeling. I still tried to work, just ran into trouble. For me, it was more of a fanciful flight or flight of fantasy. I fasted and ate healthy. Following that time, I ate a lot of healthy food. I ended up getting off my diet when I was up north when there was a hurricane at my real college. They didn't let me continue singing, anyway, which leads me to wonder if I shouldn't go back. They said I was too shy. I still like singing. My goal is to become a movie actor. I think movie actors should be able to dance and sing, but I get more of a workout at the gym. I need to practice monologues, too. I dunno, though, movie acting is different. I want to be a big star and so have to take care of myself. Singing was a way to express my personality, and it's given me a stronger voice, though I feel as though I've always shied myself away from singing with direction in order to be my own will. I guess I'm still toying with wanting to be a movie actor and not singing as much as a pro. However, pro singers can always be in musicals if they can re-register from their operatic voices. Some musicals even require dancing. It seems as though I'd do well in musical theater, but I like ballet a lot. I like musicals and opera about the same now. At first, coming home from college, I was thinking I'd learn opera or classical singing. After a few years, I went on to do musical theater, and it's definitely helped. I don't know about going into it totally. I was singing today but didn't record anything. I guess I want to go to bed soon.
Picking on Others's Thoughts
It seems like a favor, but sometimes it's even invading. Maybe, something caused me to get mad. I have ups and downs, as I move up the rungs.
Not Letting Others Do Things You Do
Some people think it's dangerous to get too close. It's natural. Things aren't too much of a shock of an encounter. It's just a different culture. I guess different people come from different places, but I dunno really.
You know, you have to look out for what you do. If you want to not get made fun of for holding certain things near and dear, you have to pretty much be flawless and already know what you've been doing. You can't say someone made you do something when they didn't and you just became jealous and reacted. You'd be surprised how much some things work out. Some things are very nostalgic. Like, you'll realize things are really perfect and just for you!
You know, you have to look out for what you do. If you want to not get made fun of for holding certain things near and dear, you have to pretty much be flawless and already know what you've been doing. You can't say someone made you do something when they didn't and you just became jealous and reacted. You'd be surprised how much some things work out. Some things are very nostalgic. Like, you'll realize things are really perfect and just for you!
Did you ever consider
just taking the strengths and bending them to your liking, taking the attractive parts of some conspiracy? You might think some one thing comes in a package deal! It doesn't. You can always take what it is that attracts you and make it work out. Otherwise, you'd be interpreting it as something totally different. You should interpret what you like and find some way to make things make sense.
"Another day is dawning..."
Don't you think it's time we got everything down, in hopes we may live forever in a dream land, as opposed to saying we should freeze time and leave everything we didn't do available for a younger generation?
It might not matter that much. It depends on what you're talking about. If you mean it's something you do that's not the definition of your entire being, it's okay. If you mean just your mindset, I mean, just because someone else didn't live life like you want, it doesn't mean that other people have to not do it on purpose when they could improve their lives in doing so. Also, there's no twisting around the truth and making it so it doesn't actually work out, in some way.
It might not matter that much. It depends on what you're talking about. If you mean it's something you do that's not the definition of your entire being, it's okay. If you mean just your mindset, I mean, just because someone else didn't live life like you want, it doesn't mean that other people have to not do it on purpose when they could improve their lives in doing so. Also, there's no twisting around the truth and making it so it doesn't actually work out, in some way.
"The Dark Knight Rises"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_dark_knight_rises#Plot
As Batman has disappeared from Gotham City, so too has Bruce Wayne, locking himself inside Wayne Manor. Wayne Enterprises is crumbling after he invested in a clean energy project designed to harness fusion power, but shut the project down after learning that the core could be modified to become a nuclear weapon. Bruce suspects that his business rival, John Daggett, has employed Bane to aid in an aggressive take-over of the company, and he entrusts businesswoman Miranda Tate to try keep full control out of Daggett's hands. When he attempts to intervene in an attack on the city's stock exchange, Bruce comes into conflict with Alfred Pennyworth over his plans to return to the streets of the city as Batman. Alfred finally admits that Rachel Dawes chose to marry Dent, and leaves Bruce's service in an attempt to convince him that he can no longer be Batman.
Following a trail left by cat burglar Selina Kyle, Batman confronts Bane, who says that he assumed the leadership of the League of Shadows following the death of Ra's al Ghul. Bane kills Daggett and reveals that he was using Daggett's construction firms to stage a heist on Wayne Enterprises' Applied Science Division. He steals Bruce's arsenal before crippling Batman and detaining him in a prison from which escape is virtually impossible. The other inmates relate the story of the only person to ever successfully escape from the prison, a child driven by necessity and the sheer force of will.
Bane lures the Gotham police department underground and sets off a chain of explosions across the city, trapping the officers underground and turning Gotham City into an isolated city-state. Any attempt to leave the city will result in the detonation of the Wayne Enterprises fusion core, which has been converted into a bomb. Addressing the citizens, Bane reveals the cover-up of Dent's death, and releases the prisoners locked up under the Dent Act. The rich and powerful are dragged from their homes and put before a show trial presided over by Jonathan Crane, where they are given the choice between death or exile, and the city further regresses into a state of anarchy. After an attempt to sneak Special Forces soldiers into the city disguised as aid workers ends with the soldiers hung from a bridge for the world to see, the government blockades Gotham.
Meanwhile, Bruce retrains himself to be Batman and successfully escapes Bane's prison to return to Gotham. He enlists Selina, Blake, and Lucius Fox's help in liberating the people of the city and stopping the fusion bomb. Batman confronts Bane, but Miranda Tate intervenes as she reveals herself to be Talia al Ghul. It was she, not Bane, who escaped the prison as a child, and Bane was permanently scarred as he tried to help her. Gordon successfully cuts off the bomb's ability to be remotely detonated and Selina kills Bane, allowing Batman to chase Talia. He tries to force her to take the bomb to the fusion chamber, where it can be stabilized, but she remotely floods the chamber. Batman shoots her truck off the road and she dies in the resulting crash, confident that the bomb cannot be stopped. Using a helicopter developed by Fox, Batman hauls the bomb beyond the city limits, where it detonates over the ocean.
In the aftermath of the explosion, the world believes Batman to be dead and Bruce to have been one of the casualties of the riot. As his estate is divided up, Alfred witnesses Bruce and Selina together alive in a cafe in Italy, while Blake inherits the Batcave.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_dark_knight_rises#Cast
Plot
Eight years after the events of The Dark Knight, Gotham City is in a state of peace. Under powers granted by the Dent Act, Commissioner Jim Gordon has nearly eradicated violent and organized crime. However, he still feels guilty about the cover-up of Harvey Dent's crimes. At a function celebrating Dent, he plans to admit to the conspiracy, but decides that the city is not ready to hear the truth. While following a lead in the abduction of a congressman from the function, Gordon's speech falls into the hands of terrorist leader Bane. Gordon is shot in the process, and he promotes patrol officer John Blake to detective, allowing Blake to report directly to him.
As Batman has disappeared from Gotham City, so too has Bruce Wayne, locking himself inside Wayne Manor. Wayne Enterprises is crumbling after he invested in a clean energy project designed to harness fusion power, but shut the project down after learning that the core could be modified to become a nuclear weapon. Bruce suspects that his business rival, John Daggett, has employed Bane to aid in an aggressive take-over of the company, and he entrusts businesswoman Miranda Tate to try keep full control out of Daggett's hands. When he attempts to intervene in an attack on the city's stock exchange, Bruce comes into conflict with Alfred Pennyworth over his plans to return to the streets of the city as Batman. Alfred finally admits that Rachel Dawes chose to marry Dent, and leaves Bruce's service in an attempt to convince him that he can no longer be Batman.
Following a trail left by cat burglar Selina Kyle, Batman confronts Bane, who says that he assumed the leadership of the League of Shadows following the death of Ra's al Ghul. Bane kills Daggett and reveals that he was using Daggett's construction firms to stage a heist on Wayne Enterprises' Applied Science Division. He steals Bruce's arsenal before crippling Batman and detaining him in a prison from which escape is virtually impossible. The other inmates relate the story of the only person to ever successfully escape from the prison, a child driven by necessity and the sheer force of will.
Bane lures the Gotham police department underground and sets off a chain of explosions across the city, trapping the officers underground and turning Gotham City into an isolated city-state. Any attempt to leave the city will result in the detonation of the Wayne Enterprises fusion core, which has been converted into a bomb. Addressing the citizens, Bane reveals the cover-up of Dent's death, and releases the prisoners locked up under the Dent Act. The rich and powerful are dragged from their homes and put before a show trial presided over by Jonathan Crane, where they are given the choice between death or exile, and the city further regresses into a state of anarchy. After an attempt to sneak Special Forces soldiers into the city disguised as aid workers ends with the soldiers hung from a bridge for the world to see, the government blockades Gotham.
Meanwhile, Bruce retrains himself to be Batman and successfully escapes Bane's prison to return to Gotham. He enlists Selina, Blake, and Lucius Fox's help in liberating the people of the city and stopping the fusion bomb. Batman confronts Bane, but Miranda Tate intervenes as she reveals herself to be Talia al Ghul. It was she, not Bane, who escaped the prison as a child, and Bane was permanently scarred as he tried to help her. Gordon successfully cuts off the bomb's ability to be remotely detonated and Selina kills Bane, allowing Batman to chase Talia. He tries to force her to take the bomb to the fusion chamber, where it can be stabilized, but she remotely floods the chamber. Batman shoots her truck off the road and she dies in the resulting crash, confident that the bomb cannot be stopped. Using a helicopter developed by Fox, Batman hauls the bomb beyond the city limits, where it detonates over the ocean.
In the aftermath of the explosion, the world believes Batman to be dead and Bruce to have been one of the casualties of the riot. As his estate is divided up, Alfred witnesses Bruce and Selina together alive in a cafe in Italy, while Blake inherits the Batcave.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_dark_knight_rises#Cast
Cast
- A billionaire socialite dedicated to protecting Gotham City from the criminal underworld. Nolan has stated that, due to the eight-year gap between the events of The Dark Knight and those of The Dark Knight Rises, "he's an older Bruce Wayne; he's not in a great state."[12] Bale employed a mixed martial arts discipline called the Keysi Fighting Method, but due to Bruce's current state and Bane's style, the method had to be modified.[13] Bale has stated that The Dark Knight Rises will be the final film in which he plays Batman,[14] and describes the character's arc as finally confronting the pain of loss that he has deferred for years by fighting criminals balanced against the need to internalise that pain lest he give into his emotions and become the killer the city already believes him to be.[15]
- A terrorist leader intent on destroying Gotham City. He was originally a member of the League of Shadows, before being excommunicated. The character was chosen by Christopher Nolan because of his desire to see Batman tested on both a physical and mental level.[12] Bane has been described as "a terrorist in both thought and action"[12] and is "florid in his speech, [with] the physicality of a gorilla".[13] Hardy stated that he intended to portray the character as "more menacing" than Robert Swenson's version of the character in Joel Schumacher's Batman & Robin and that in order to do so, his portrayal entailed creating a contradiction between the voice and the body. Hardy gained 30 pounds (14 kg) for the role,[17] increasing his weight to 198 pounds (90 kg).[17] Hardy based the character's voice on that of Bartley Gorman.[18]
- Selina Kyle is a cat burglar described as "an associate" of Bane[20] who establishes a relationship with Batman that "takes some of the somberness away from his character."[13] Kyle is pursuing a "clean slate", a computer program rumoured to be able to erase a person's criminal history when she crosses paths with Bruce Wayne. Hathaway auditioned not knowing what role she was being considered for, admitting that she had one character in mind, but only learned that the role was Selina Kyle after talking with Christopher Nolan for an hour.[21] Hathaway described the role as being the most physically-demanding she had ever played, and confessed that while she thought of herself as being fit she had to redouble her efforts in the gym to keep up with the demands of the role.[22][23] Hathaway trained extensively in martial arts for the role, and looked to Hedy Lamarr — who was the inspiration for the Catwoman character — in developing her performance.[20]
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